So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
