she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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