What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i think im in europe. pls send help
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
