Porn is love you can see.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Enjoy the penises
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
