Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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