the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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