There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
