he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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