I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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