the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
