i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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