32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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