is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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