New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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