Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
