Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
