Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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