HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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