the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she smelled like a LAN party
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
