can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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