Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize
