Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fill condoms, not promises.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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