I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
