Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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