i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
