Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
