Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
