oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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