Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
