I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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