Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so let's talk penis.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
