Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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