Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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