i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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