Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
