If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
