whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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