Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
