got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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