At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
