He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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