I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
