I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
