i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
