He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
