I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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