So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
