i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
