I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
