i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
