he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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