so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
