i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
